


Let’s take a hit!

by AinSophie



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, Thuốc lào
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AinSophie/pseuds/AinSophie
Summary: Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos, Simeon and Solomon decided to gather for a little party after Diavolo’s official birthday
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Let’s take a hit!

“It was certainly one of Lucifer’s weirdest experiences ever in Devildom, one so memorable that he actually had to try to make himself forget about it. Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer and Solomon have gathered around after Diavolo’s official birthday party to throw a secret party in their underground club - a thuốc lào party. They all sat on little stools, which turned out to be a bit too small for Diavolo and Lucifer’s large bodies. Everyone all had in their hand a large pipe made out of bamboo - a điếu cày, to be precise. Barbatos cleared his throat:

“Today, I will gladly be your instructor for this thuốc lào crash course.”

“What’s thuốc lào?” 

“Thuốc lào, or Vietnamese tobacco, is a special tobacco that is smoked in northern Vietnam provinces in the human world. Well, mostly Thanh Hoá and Hải Phòng, which is famous for its thuốc lào Tiên Lãng, the one we would be using for today’s party.” The steward smiled with the confidence of a thuốc lào connoisseur, holding up a bag of dried tobacco and his own điếu cày “and we will be using this tool, called a điếu cày, to smoke it.” 

“Barbatos? I didn’t know you smoke?” Lucifer asked. 

“As a steward, it is my duty to be knowledgeable in everything.” Barbatos coughed while turning away from Lucifer’s teeming gaze.

“It’s fine, Lucifer! I was shocked too, at first. But after good ol’ Barb here…” Diavolo said, as he patted his trustworthy steward on the back, “promised me he would gift me a điếu cày for my upcoming birthday, I think it’s worth a try! Whaddya say?” 

Lucifer was silent. He was almost petrified, staring at both of them in awe. There were so many aspects of the Demon Lord’s calm and collected steward that Lucifer was yet to know. And he was somewhat glad he didn’t know those sides of him. 

“So, the tip to finding a good pack of thuốc lào is that you have to feel it…” The Demon Lord’s steward picked up a bunch of dry tobacco and rubbed it between his fingers. “And… you have to smell it, too. Come take a whiff, Lucifer.”

“Did you teach him that, Solomon?” 

“Yes. When we first formed a pact, I gave him his first điếu cày to commemorate the event.” Solomon said, seemingly proud of his achievement. 

“I still treasure it to this day. But, enough with the talk. Let me show you how to properly smoke thuốc lào.” 

Barbatos rubbed a pinch of tobacco into a small ball, which he put into the bowl of his điếu cày. Then, the demon lit up a match and lit the ball on fire. He waited for a few seconds for the tobacco to be engulfed completely in flames, blew the ash out of the pipe, then took a deep toke from it. Barbatos’s breathing - or inhaling- was so good that he even made the điếu cày producing a weird sound neither Diavolo nor Lucifer has ever heard. He stopped midway to drink some green tea, and finally, let the heavy, tobacco-scented smoke escape from his mouth. The look in his eyes didn’t change - he was still calm as ever. Upon witnessing Barbatos’s big fat rip, Diavolo got impatient. The steward seemed to have noticed this, as he reached out to his master’s pipe and handed it to him. 

“Fancy a hit, my lord?” 

“You bet I do! Light it up, baby.” 

Barbatos calmly did the same thing all over one more time with Diavolo’s điếu cày. Straight away, the Demon Lord stuck his mouth in the pipe, taking a rip. His first time trying thuốc lào didn’t go as expected - the smoke got him a little bit too high. He stumbled, almost falling backwards and hitting his head on the ground, if it was not for Barbatos who had already extended his arm to catch the young Demon Lord. Still drowning in ecstasy, Diavolo cried, his words slurred: 

“H… hey… th-that was… fun…” 

“Please have some iced tea to cool it down.” Solomon handed him a cup of green tea. His shoulders were shaking - he was trying his best to hold his laughter. Diavolo reminded the wise king of Barbatos’s first time hitting thuốc lào - back then, the demon got so high that he actually banged his head on the table and broke the stool as he fell off of it. It had been an amusing sight to say the least, but Solomon had no intention to expose the most powerful demon of all time. They waited for a while to the Demon Lord to cool down from the impact. Lucifer thought it was over once Diavolo had had a taste of this sick new tobacco, but he was soon to discover that he was dead wrong. 

“Here you go Lucifer. Take a rip.” 

“Diavolo, may I refuse? I cannot…” 

“Take. A. Rip.” The redhead repeated, this time in a more serious tone 

Lucifer hesitated. But, in the end, he still obliged to the Demon Lord’s orders. The old demon reluctantly put his mouth into the bamboo pipe, trying to inhale the smoke. It almost suffocated him. Still, the eldest brother of the House of Lamentation kept going. He inhaled the burning smoke of the tobacco with all his might, without even drinking the green tea like Barbatos did.

Then, smoke came out of his mouth, nose, and even ears. He was soon covered in the heavy smoke of thuốc lào. It was obvious that Lucifer took the darn fattest rip Barbatos has ever seen. Needless to say, he was stunned, whilst Diavolo and Solomon cheered Lucifer on. In a moment, the black haired demon thought his lifespan was shortened by twenty thousand years. 

“That was hella LIT, Lucifer!” The young Demon Lord exclaimed. 

“My witch doctor friends will be proud of this.” Solomon wiped a single tear. “That rip was fatter than Barbatos’s roasted tapir.” 

“I’m gonna have a headache…” Lucifer sighed. Barbatos only giggled, as he offered him another hit.

“No. Please, Barbatos, I’ve had enough…”

As the night goes on, the Fantastic Three of RAD’s student council and the great sorcerer continued to smoke thuốc lào until daytime came, when everyone had to go back to their own houses. Lucifer was so high he could barely walk, so Solomon had to escort him back home before heading back to Purgatory Hall himself while Barbatos carried his young master back to the Devil Lord’s castle”.... What in the Devildom is this, Simeon?” Lucifer cried as he reached the end of Christopher Peugeot’s latest work. Simeon was laughing his head off. 

“Now now, no need to get so fired up!”

“Why didn’t you write that YOU took a hit too? YOU were the one who suggested that surprise thuốc lào party!” 

“Well, I’M the writer. As a matter of fact, what I can and will do is to only record what happened to you guys…” 

“Give me that!” Lucifer snatched Simeon’s pencil and story from his hand. The angel leaned back onto his chair, still cackling: 

“What are you gonna do, stab me with it?” 

“No, but I will add something to this story.” 

And so, Lucifer began to wrote, starting from “No please Barbatos, I’ve had enough”: 

“... Simeon, who was the first to suggest the surprise thuốc lào party, didn’t say anything from the start. He was busy trying to take photos of them with his D.D.D.

“By the way, you guys locked that chihuahua in, didn’t you?” Lucifer asked.

“Yeah. We can’t possibly let Luke see us smoking lào and report to Michael, can we?” Solomon shrugged. “I fed him some of my secret recipe macarons, next thing I knew he was sleeping like a log!” 

“That’s because you poisoned him.” 

“Poisoned? Oh no, he looked happy! He even downed the whole thing!” 

“That’s definitely because you stuffed his mouth with it…” Simeon sighed. “Solomon, I thought I told you to be gentle?”

“Yes, yes. But sweets are the gentlest when it comes to children, no?” 

“Not in your case.” 

The rest of them sighed and shook their head in unison. Anything but Solomon’s cooking should be counted as gentle. 

Simeon then took out his own tool. The angel’s smoking tube was a stylishly small one, compared to Diavolo and Barbatos’s. It was light but very sturdy. Barbatos exclaimed as he examined the tube:

“A high quality điếu ống, I see…” 

“Michael gave me a piece of really fine wood and told me to do something with it, so I asked Solomon for some advice, as he was known to be a wise man. He told me to turn it into a điếu ống, and here we are.” 

“How long have all of you been smoking this thing?!” 

“About a thousand years… or so.” 

Lucifer was speechless, once again. Diavolo, on the contrary, seemed a bit infuriated. He was the only one uninvited to their fun thuốc lào gatherings. 

“No fair!!! You guys should have told me sooner! I’d be glad to join y’all!” 

“Diavolo… please don’t say that. You’re going to make me cry.” 

“Hey, Lucifer, would you be kind enough to lit my điếu for me please?”

Per Simeon’s request, though reluctant, Lucifer lit the điếu ống for him. With a soft “thank you”, the angel proceeded to take a hit. Simeon was even more skillful than Barbatos, as he just slowly let the smoke came out of his mouth, as if taking a breathe on a winter’s day, in everyone’s stares of awe...”

“That… was oddly romantic, Lucifer…” 

“Shut up or else I’m going to rip your paper into two equal halves.” 

“Well, for someone’s first attempt at writing a story, I must say you do have talent.” 

“I was just merely reporting what happened. Are you going to present this to Michael?” 

“Of course not.” 

Though, Simeon was actually thinking, “I’m absolutely going to show this to Michael.” He remembered Lucifer’s tripping face. He was clinging onto Simeon, cackling like crazy and saying all kinds of gibberish. The all-serious, straight-faced demon was basically all over the place. It was hard enough to get his hands off of everyone, even harder to bring him back to the House of Lamentation without awaking his little brothers. Nonetheless, Simeon was quite happy with how everything turned out. 

“Let’s hit thuốc lào again someday.” Simeon whispered with a smirk.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don’t smoke thuốc lào, it’s not good for your health


End file.
